Sunday, June 8, 2008
The "Family" Curse
About a month ago my brother in law, Mike Brown, said something that really struck me. We were talking about work and college degrees and I made the comment that I am really not interested in a career. I do wish I had a bachelor’s degree but there just isn’t something I am passionate enough about. I can’t justify spending all the money when I don’t really have an interest in it. So, here’s the jist of what he said that struck me. He said as members of the church it seems like the thing we are most passionate about is our families and everything else falls behind at a distant second. Now, I know that there are many members of the church who are passionate about their careers, but I definitely don’t fall into that category. The thing I want most in my life is to be a mom. I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and spend my time doing what I feel is the most valuable work there is-raising a family. So, I struggle everyday with having to get up and work when my heart’s not in it. I kind of feel like at this point in my life being passionate about family is a curse. It drags me down to wish and wish that I could have a family but know that it’s not possible (I think you have to be in the same country as your husband to get pregnant). Once I drag myself down I have to try and pick myself back up again which gets tiring after a while. I’m glad I have the desire to have a family and I hope that someday I am able to, but right now, it’s causing me to feel like I’m between a rock and a hard spot.
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4 comments:
I have four kids that you can come mother any time you want to! Seriously, though, that your heart is in the right place is a big deal. I used to work with other nurses who loved their jobs and said they would go insane staying home with their kids. I always felt so sad for them because they were missing out on what is really most important in life and when they realized it, it might be too late.
Your family is going to mean that much more to you and Travis BECAUSE you had to wait and you will probably be less likely to take pregnancy for granted when it does happen. You are awesome!
To help fill the gap, until you have your own children, there are lots of children that need love and attention. Volunteer in the neonatal at the hospital. Look into becoming a foster parent. We have been so blessed by helping others through this. Not only are we helping the children, but we also are helping the parents learn to be good parents. And what is nice, you can do it on your terms. Whatever age you want and for whatever time you want. They are in such need and are looking for selfless people to help and influence these kids. Let me know if you want to talk about it.
I didn't know you had a blog!!!! So not the right place to post this comment but I wanted to be sure you saw it!
I think you are a very and smart woman. When your life gets back to normal I know you will have your family. You know twins run in our family and we have not had any in the last couple of generations. Watch out what you pray for. You could be next.
Just kidding we love you and love your site. Keep up the good works.
Gram
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