An optimistic outlook

I am in a celebratory mood today, the last day of August, 2008. The end of August means another lonely month gone which then means I'm one more month closer to seeing Travis again. I now have only two months left to make it through alone. That seems achievable. Looking back, it's encouraging to know that I've put 10 months behind me. I can't say these past months have been a great time or really even a happy time--but I also can't say that it's been a miserable or sad time, so I think that's something. I also have managed to keep out of a vegetative state, well, unless you count the time I spend on the computer...but anyway. I feel really grateful that the time Travis has been away has passed so quickly for me. I appreciate all of the effort so many people have put forth to help, listen, and talk to me. I know it's simple, and it may not have felt like a burden, but it's lifted a burden off my shoulders and for that I am deeply grateful. I never felt like I had friends before Travis left and now I feel really blessed to think of so many people as friends. I felt like I was losing everything when I found out Travis was leaving. I have really seen the Lord's hand in my life and realized how much I actually had to gain during the past year. I now see why we were inspired to move here when we did. I know I have become a stronger person and have acquired a lot more skills than I would have somewhere else and with other people. I know this comes a few months early and that my time alone isn't quite up, but as I said before, I now feel like it's tolerable. I am past the hardest part and no matter how strong I think I am, I could have never done it alone. One of my greatest hopes going into this deployment was that I would come out of it with something to show for my time. I wanted to be productive and to become a better person so that when Travis and I are together again I can add to our relationship instead of detract. I might not have many physical things to show for this time apart, but I know that I have changed inside and I think that's really what counts. So, I am happy knowing that in the future I'll be able to look back at this hard time in my life and be proud of how I handled myself and what I accomplished. Although I'm still sad that we have had to be apart for so long I now understand that it opened up the door for blessings I may not have received otherwise.